At the end of the sky, there i'll be....

Some says, love is a strong undeniable bond.. Once it comes to love, you just can't resist. Though it might gain nothing in return. But sometimes love can be so fragile. All the feelings could turn to zero due to no explanation. I don't think I understand it anymore. And I don't know if I still have any faith in it.. Will I be able to love, unconditionally, and believe in someone so essentially again? They say I'm just not ready for such thing yet. (According to what my life had brought for me all through these years) Somehow, the love of my life is waiting, and it'll arrive when it's time. When I'm ready to take whole responsible for such a vulnerable treasure of my life, and won't waste it like before... Because love is so breakable and I'm still not good enough to handle it yet. The question is.. When is when? What if I started to feel the strings of feelings, weaving around? Something I couldn't stop? Something overwhelming me? Something's making me uncontrollably weak? But I'm in no condition close to the word ready.. (I beg it stop, like it would listen to my fainted voice) I wanna run..and run and run away So much easier to run, so much easier to stop before it start, and we r incapable of controlling it. I hate myself when I'm .. .... But anyway, just so you know I'm not a saint I'm not any angel I'm nowhere near that perfect princess of anyone's dream But I am who I am, with all the goods and bads.. With all the potential to love and be loved, when it comes to that.. I am the complicated one, I know, and so are you..

i'm trying to find a space where i can say what i want to say..

Is there anywhere left for me to hide?

Anyplace for me to run and cry my heart out...

And just scream it all out, everything i wanna say

 

Too many questions and yet..

the answer is not here

not there

not even anywhere in my sight

 

You know what?

Shutting down, and run away would be a lot easier

Sorry, that you have to see the strength inside me burning..

 

I wish i know how to feel whole again

How to fill every hole and every crack inside of me

i want every wound be healed fast

Everything must be easier that way..

 

Easier for me to love and be loved.

 

i think i see the small ray of light, starts to shine through the thick cloud

i hope i'll be ready for the new day, in time...

i'm starving for the sun, the wind and the bright sky

 

I'll start it all over again

i"ll be good

and i'll be just fine

 

Have a nice day, the new day is always a brighter day...